Why do people universally crave confidence， arguably even more than they desire money， mates， and material success？ Because， confidence is one of perhaps just two experiences in life （love being the second） that change all the other things in life for the better. People with greater confidence are rated as more attractive， adventurous and outgoing， and physically and emotionally healthier. They enjoy more and higher-quality relationships. Confidence even makes people more resilient to stress. The more intriguing question is why everyone doesn’t already have more confidence. You’re probably underachieving your confidence potential not because of a lack of support or external success but because of accidental ways you’ve learned and been taught to think. If that explanation strikes you as too simple to be true， consider the following：

为什么人们普遍渴望自信，甚至超过了对金钱、伴侣和物质成功的渴求？这是因为，自信或许是人生中仅有的两种（另一种是爱）会令生活处处向好的体验之一。较为自信的人往往被认为更具魅力、更勇于冒险、更外向开朗，身心也更健康。他们拥有更多高质量的社交关系。自信甚至能让人在面对压力时更具韧性。比较耐人寻味的问题是，为何并非人人都自然而然拥有充足的自信？你之所以未能充分发挥自信潜能，或许并非因为缺乏支持或外在成就，而是由于你无意中习得并被灌输的思维方式。如果你觉得这个解释过于简单，让人难以置信，不妨思考以下几点：

· Self-limiting beliefs can make a rich person feel poor;

·自我设限的信念能让富人感到贫穷；

· A strong person feel weak;

·让强者感到脆弱；

· A beloved person feel lonely.

·让被爱者感到孤独。

It turns out—left unrecognized and unaddressed—the same types of self-limiting belief patterns can also confine a potentially confident and self-actualized person to a lifetime of insecurity.

事实证明，如果这种自我设限的信念模式未被察觉并妥善解决，那么一个本可以自信满满、实现自我价值的人很可能终生都困于不安之中。

Why confidence is so elusive.

自信为何如此难以企及。

If confidence were a metaphorical wise man living atop a Himalayan mountain， we could say that most people lack confidence because they have been given bad directions. Even the most precious and sought-after treasure will likely elude us without an accurate map. What are the common “directions” we are given to climb the confidence mountain？ We are taught that confidence comes from a） having successful experiences; b） achieving degrees， promotions， and related milestones; c） from obtaining experience at the thing about which we want to be confident; and from d） support and encouragement from others.

倘若将自信比作一位住在喜马拉雅之巅的智者，那么我们可以说，大多数人缺乏自信是因为听信了错误的指引。